Some of my students are obviously reading these blog entries... but that is OK, it is not as if I am saying that I hate them or something! No, in fact, I even love them too much and that is the problem. I just cannot get mad at them! Well I did get mad, but I have a feeling that they think I did not really mean what I said so they do not really worry. I do not know how to be "tough" and strict. I have lost that power somewhere between last semester and this fall. I used to be feared by my students, feared, and respected, and I still think I am respected, in a way, but it is not the kind of respect where they will care about what I say. It is more the "she's nice" kind of respect... which is a definitely NOT a good thing! I mean, I don't want to be hated by my students, but I feel that they are taking advantage of my kindness and it's making me really, really tired. Coming to class late for example. At the beginning of the semester, I said, "if you are late three times, it counts as one absence. And if you are absent seven times, you get an F in the class." Now, if I really applied these rules, half of the class would already be dangerously closer to getting an F! How can they think that coming to class 15 minutes late is all right? Is that a counter reaction to the cultures they came from, where everything had to be so perfect and orderly... and now, they think that the American culture is "cool" and "relaxed" so they can do whatever they want? I had that problem a few years ago at the ELC. I would give "orders" to my students like "read this for tomorrow" for example and some Korean students would say, "this is not Korea, you can't treat us like that!" I made the "late" rule only because I was afraid of Latin students. My first semester at Purdue, I was teaching regular 101 and every single student was on time exactly, except for one... who was from Peru... so I thought I might have other students from Latin America and had to be ready for that this semester. Turns out I only have on Latin student, from Costa Rica, and he is not even the worst! So yesterday, I told them to not come to class at all if they were going to be late. It is draining! I have to wait for those who are late, can't really start doing or explaining anything, have to repeat the same things 3-4 times every time someone comes in. And of course, today, someone was late. Now, here was my dilemma: this particular student is always late, so if I let him come to class after what I said yesterday, he will always be late in the future and this will damage my authority, in the eyes of all the other students too! On the other hand, he is one of the two students who really struggle with English, with ideas, with life in general it seems, and who need all the help I can provide, so if he misses even more class time, it is going to set him behind even more, plus I will have to spend extra time explaining to him what we did and the homework. Agh! So I let him in. Wednesday, we started class with FIVE people in the classroom! I am very disheartened and disappointed! And I know the other 106i teachers are struggling with the same problem. Only international students dare to come to class late! What image are they giving? How can they follow what is going on if they are always late to class? And my last and most important question is: are they late like this in their "more important" (or so they say!) classes like math, chemistry, engineering, or CS? If they are not, then they respect neither this class, nor me, and something must be done about it! OK, on a more positive side, they all seem to have good topics for their papers now. It took some serious work for some, and I did have to spend extra time with those students... up to the point of practically putting the words into their mouth so they would choose decent topics... and I am still a little unsure about a couple of topics, but we'll see, I for one am pretty excited about some of their ideas, and it's impossible to predict how these papers will turn out, so I hope for the best. Monday and Tuesday, I had them come in groups again and show me that they really knew what they wanted to research. I had given them a table to fill out (thanks Gigi) and a sentence to complete (thanks Brita) so they would really know what the research question was. I do not know what they thought of the exercise, but I liked it, it proved useful in forcing them to actually articulate a specific research question. It also seems that our conference time is becoming more effective and productive. Then on Wednesday, they had to bring an outline of their first paper. I know I sound very frustrated and that makes me sad, but I AM very frustrated. I gave them an example of an outline, I wrote online directions of what parts had to be in their paper, and I also told them where they could look in their textbook for additional help… and 9/14 students had done whatever else it was that they thought was an outline! It is not just the fact that nine students had not cared to do things carefully and correctly, that bothers me. It’s also the fact that SOME students have done it very well and are ready to go on and work on other things, but I still have to spend a whole hour explaining to the 9 who did it wrong how they should have done it! Gigi says: Now they know that it does not matter if they haven’t done their homework, because they know they’ll be able to do it in class! So yesterday, I also told them not to come to class if they were not ready with their homework done well and all the required material (textbook and others). Their first draft was due today, and that little speech I gave them yesterday seemed to have worked because they all had a nice first draft! The activity we did then worked well: I had them bring an electronic copy of their first draft, open it on their computer, and then go around and read each other’s papers and make comments on them with the “track change” function of Word. They had to make comments, ask questions, give suggestions, and find problems, but not spend too much time on one paper so they would be able to read 3-4 other papers. Most students had the time to do that and from what I have seen, it worked very well! I still gave them another text (about gender issues in Japan) to peer-review over the weekend, and this exercise will be graded. I know I have not given them very good reasons why peer reviewing is important and I will discuss that on Monday, but so far, no one has complained and they seem to have done it very well. At least one thing that worked, finally! So I guess this week had some good and some bad… but overall, the conferences were successful and so was the peer-reviewing activity. Now we have to work on a few more things like doing homework and being on time. Another thing is the “feedback” blog that I have started with this class, where they have said very nice things, such as “nice teacher,” and then complained a lot about the homework, but where I’d like them to really reflect on the teaching and learning that are taking place in this class. Next week’s new fight? Technology!
It seems like if I try to tackle one problem at a time, things work out better for me. This week has definitely been nicer, easier, and more efficient than the previous one. I have decided to take things slowly and not to worry if I was not able to do everything that I had planned to do. After all, we have enough time to do it all, since normally, we have more days in class to do the same things we did in 102. So, no panic. I have been sick and feeling rather bad these last few days, but when I am in front of my students, I forget it all and just enjoy the moment. My students contribute to making our class such a rich environment! I am always amazed at what they went through, their experiences here and in their countries, and the different ways we can see things. This week, we have been working on choosing a topic for the next projects. It is very difficult for my students to understand that you can choose one topic and write four different papers on the same topic but from different perspectives and with different rhetorical aims in mind. I have asked them to read an example of such work, a paper written about an earthquake in Turkey, which discusses things from a personal perspective, then from a larger perspective (friends, family, country) and finally from the perspective of the government agencies that came to the rescue of the victims. I thought the students would then understand what I am asking them to do, but it seems that some still do not know what to choose, what to decide, and how to phrase their "research question." The topic they choose also needs to be something that relates to them personally, which is yet another requirement they do not understand well. They say, "It's about my country, that's how I relate to the topic" but do not understand that it must be something that has directly influenced them or someone close to them. Today and yesterday, we had conferences in small groups. I tried to trust that my students could help each other find good topics, and it worked, to some extent. I had to ask the same questions repeatedly: "So what is your specific question here? How does it relate to you personally?" and some were farther than others. I am sad to see that the students who struggle the most are also those who work the less and those with whom I am the least efficient since they are not ready and I cannot spend extra time with them. They will consequently not choose a very good topic, which in turn will not help them write good papers... this is discouraging. I should spend extra time and make sure that everyone's on the same page... I really should... and if things do not get better next week with those students, I will take some time to discuss with them outside of class time. Two students did not show up to their conference time and I do not know what to do about it either. Another thing that we have started this week is for my students to give me feedback about our class. They can do this any time they want on a new blog, and it is an anonymous blog, which will not influence their grades or anything. I am very interested in learning what goes well and what does not in this class, and find it difficult to try and decipher international students expressions and comments. American students will let you know if something does not work the way they want, but international students are too shy maybe, or scared, to say things out loud. I hope that this new blog will allow them to 1. express what they think about this class, 2. reflect on what they are doing in this class, and 3. let me know what they think about my nonnativeness... which is also the goal of this study! What else? On Tuesday, I started working with them in with the library database and more particularly with the CORE tutorials. My students from last semester hated those tutorials and the quizzes that go with them, and I have the feeling that my new students feel quite the same! It is true that the quizzes are not always intelligent and useful, but it shows me at least that they have read the tutorials, which are useful. Right now, they had to do the tutorials about choosing topics and narrowing topics and stuff like that. We will start the real "research" process after mid-term since right now, they do not yet need to do library research. This will be yet another struggle... Well, the CORE stuff went OK, although it did take some time for a few students to get used to it and know how to take them. One student miserably failed the first quiz and complained that "there's a right answer in all the choices given in the quiz" and I told him that yes, that's how things work here, quizzes try to trick you by putting parts of the truth in all the possible answers, but that the goal was to find the one answer that had the whole truth and no wrong parts in it. Since them, he did much better on the other quizzes... except that he told me this morning that he had found a way to cheat... which does not surprise me in a way because I'm sure he's not the only one, but at the same time it is very disappointing! What can I do? Do I just let it go? Do I just not care? I told him that it was really not the kind of stuff you want to tell your teacher... and I remember the last year, when I had a student who cheated on some extra credit (she told me she had read Gandhi's autobiography but really hadn't), and another one who had basically copied her final paper out of a magazine... Both instances were such a struggle to deal with that I am not sure I am really to fight with that one student. This is it for this week. Really, compared with last week, this week has gone well. I do not know what the students have learned, but at least I make them think. Goal for next week: to get them really ready with their topics so we can start working with great enthusiasm on those project and not get discouraged after a few days because of a bad topic.
Wow, things are becoming a bit crazy, and I feel that I am losing control of the situation, and at the same time I am learning so much about my students, myself, and how to teach this class! This week, we had class two days only, and then individual conferences. On Monday, we used the computers to do several things: learn how to find ones' conference day and time, verify email addresses in the class list, see what kind of form the students must download and fill out before and after their conference time, and how to format a paper: title page, header, spelling and grammar, titles, double-spacing, margin, page breaks, word count, page number, etc. I had uploaded some examples of "good formatting" on my website and had asked the students to bring an electronic copy of their first project so that they could copy the format and make their first project look perfect. I was surprised that we spent the whole hour working on that and the following day, when I asked the students to bring a hard copy of the first draft of their first project for peer-reviewing, I still saw formatting mistakes here and there! I talked with every student, verified what they were doing, helped them, repeated the same things over and over, gave them several examples, wrote the directions on my website... but some can still do it wrong! I felt that they just took advantage of me, of my patience. I remember last semester, when I made my American students so responsible! I was very harsh with them, expected a LOT from them and it was tough on them but they learned. This semester, I felt maybe too close to these international students. I felt bad for them because I know many are experiencing difficulties, homesickness, and other hardships similar to what I experienced when I first arrived at BYU 8 years ago. So I have been nothing but nice with these guys, and maybe I have been wrong, maybe I have been too nice and am not helping them by forgiving too much. I was discouraged on Monday but at least, many students learned something... but Tuesday was a disaster! I need to remember that what was difficult with American students is almost impossible with international students. Peer reviewing has always been hard for me to conduct in a very productive and efficient way, and trying it for the first time on Tuesday the way I did it was just plain wrong. Other 106i teachers have done extensive training before trying the actual peer reviewing exercise with their students, and I should have done so too. It is strange that I feel almost unqualified to do it with them, I feel that I wouldn't know what to do if I had to do it myself, so I am afraid to show them what to do with examples on a transparency with the overhead projector. First, half of the class hadn't brought their textbook (where they had the review questions!) and someone even told me "you didn't tell us to bring it on the assignment page!" As if I also had to remind them to bring pens and paper! That made me mad, and I had to go to my office to get my own book to lend it and ask one student who didn't live very far to run to his place and get his book so we would at least have one book for two students. Then I had asked my students to bring three copies of their draft, and I first wanted them to get into groups of three, distribute their copies, and one after another, read and discuss their draft within their group. It did work with my American students, but only after much training and patience. Brita had the good idea to keep their draft as electronic copies, to open them on the computers, and to have the students move around the classroom from one computer to the next and to make comments with the "add comments" function of Word on each other's draft. That's somewhat nice, but doesn't foster discussion and communication the way reading aloud and discussing in a group would do. Maybe I'll try that next time, just to try something new. Wed/Thur/Friday, we had individual conferences, and Wednesday was hard, since the first students were already late and pushed everyone even later... Because we were short on time, I also didn't feel that the discussions were very productive and useful for the students. Thursday was a little better because I knew what to expect, and Friday went well... except for one students who came 30 minutes late... I had them fill out a form when they write what questions they have, what they want me to help them with, and what problem they might have with their draft, and that helped a lot. Again, if I compare with my American students from last semester, this move was a good one because the students already come to their conference with questions and concerns and we don't spend 2-3 minutes asking, "so how are things going? what can I help you with?" I had tried that a bit last semester but only had the students write down questions on their drafts before the interview. Now they have a full form to fill out and also to give me feedback AFTER their conference so I can know if they find them useful or not... and they seem to do. I only took class time for these conferences, though, and gave 10 minutes to every students, which proved to be a bit short, so next time I'll take some time from my office hours and have them come for a longer period of time, with more specific questions (some students only wrote "I need help writing a better paper" or "I need to improve my writing style," which of course we couldn't do in 10 minutes!). That's about it for now. Most students are doing well, some are doing very well, and a couple are not doing so well, but that is normal I guess. Gigi spent some time on Wednesday afternoon telling me about what she was doing with her students and how to introduce the second project. She also sent me some good ideas and examples of second projects by email, which was very nice and helped me get a better idea of what I'm supposed to be doing! I'll work on making myself feel more confident and my students more independent, and hopefully, things will get better and better.
I am reading my students' first paper and thinking. I am puzzled and I don't know what to do with them! How can I grade them? What am I supposed to do with these papers that are all so different from the others? When I was teaching regular 101 and 102, most students had the same view of things, the same approach, the same ideas, the same abilities, and the same problems. Yes, there were people who were better than others and who got A's instead of C's, but that's because I knew what the standard was, what was expected to get an A, and what was not good enough to get it. C students had problems with organization, development of ideas, and following directions. But now, things are entirely different. First, I have students whose first language seems to be English and who won't have any problems with spelling or grammar. This doesn't mean they know how to develop their ideas well or to organize their paper adequately! Then I have people who have been in the US for a while, who are in their 2nd or 3rd or 4th semester here, who have already struggled through writing papers, and who have had the opportunity to learn a more "alive" and "current" kind of language. These guys make some grammar mistakes but are pretty good overall. I even have one student, whom I added this Wednesday and is from Pakistan, who already took English 101! Finally, I have the very new students, who are here for the first time, who have lived in the US for 2 or 3 weeks, who are lost, experience homesickness, culture shock, and who have absolutely no idea about the format of US college papers, grammar, spelling, organization, the development of ideas, rules of mechanics, how to follow directions, etc. I asked my students to "double space” their first paper and got those who doubled the space between paragraphs, those who doubled the space between sentences, those who doubled the space between lines, and those who doubled nothing! I asked for 3 to 5 pages, and got those who wrote 2.5 pages, those who wrote five pages, those who wrote three pages, and those who wrote six pages. In addition, with the format... goodness, we won't even go into that one! The biggest problem for me now is this: HOW CAN I GRADE ALL THIS? Granted it is easy to teach them about formatting and page numbers, and hopefully not too difficult to teach them about organization... but what about grammar?? Can I give someone a bad grade just because his/her grammar is terrible? Should I simply send everyone to the writing lab and expect perfection on his or her final draft? Should I expect more from the people who write English well already and be nicer with those who struggle? Something to think about... and quickly! I am feeling the same uncertainty with the amount of work to give them. I know it takes 2 minutes for some to write a page but 2 hours for others. Is that fair? What can I do about it? Yesterday, I talked with my students about the fact that I was forgiving and here to teach them but that their other teachers, especially their science teachers, were much less forgiving. I explained that I was not their teacher to be mean and kill them with much work but rather that I was their only chance to learn how to write adequately and do well later in their studies and their jobs. For Tony's class, I read an article that discussed a study of faculty reactions to students' mistakes. It was very interesting to read that there is very little writing done for science classes and that consequently, the teachers are not often exposed to ESL students writings, which in turn makes them sometimes hostile and annoyed by their mistakes, while teachers in the Humanities were much more accepting of such mistakes, probably because they were more often exposed to all kinds of different writing. It was also interesting to learn that the mistakes most native English-speaking students make (such as its vs. it's) do not bother teachers as much as more unusual kinds of mistakes such as word order or relative clause mistakes. That's what I told my students, and also that if they had questions about writing for their other classes, they should feel free to ask me for help. I hope that they'll see that I really do want to help them and care about their individual needs. Overall, things are going well. A couple of students are always late, sometimes even 15-20 minutes late, and that is quite annoying. I keep telling them to be on time, but of course, I say that at the beginning of class when those who will be late are not in class yet, so it is quite useless. Blog entries are still a problem and they don't seem to understand that they need to write there before class. There is also not much interaction taking place yet between everyone. Since the first day of class, everyone has been sitting at the same place, which allowed me to learn their names in 2 days, but which limits interaction. On Thursday, I had everyone bring some food to class (some brought food only for themselves, they thought it was just a time when they could eat their lunch in class), and we did a little "get to know your classmates" activity, which was fun, but probably not as effective as I had hoped. I'll try to do more of that soon. They are nice kids, in general, and I love them... but need to get to know them better before we all know what we're doing and where we are going.
