Saturday, December 07, 2002

 
Nice quotation! I think I should apply it to my life as well.
bequi 2:29 AM

 
"Have patience with everything that remains unsolved in your heart. Try to love the questions themselves... Do not now look for the answers. They cannot now be given to you because you could not live them. It is a question of experiencing everything. At present, you need to live the question. Perhaps you will gradually, without even noticing it, find yourself experiencing the answer, some distant day."
Rainer Maria Rilke.
Lucie Moussu 12:10 AM

Friday, December 06, 2002

 
A few more things--yes I do know not to start sentences with "and" or "but." ;-) Yes, I have seen Schindler's list, and . . . my reliability is 88% (If I calculated correctly) which is good enough for me! Oh, and I promise to send that cd to you tomorrow--but I lost the paper with your address on it (I'm so embarrassed!) But I will send it if you send me your address again.
bequi 5:23 AM

 
Hey, remember at the end of Schindler's List? The guy looks around and says (okay, I don't remember the exact quote, but this is it more or less), "I should have done more." but then the other guy says, "You did something." Life is like that--especially teaching. No matter what you do, there is always a hypothetical "more" (or less, or different). You do and have done a lot--more than most people would have. And sure, that hypothetical "more" is always there. It would still be there if you spent every minute of the day and night planning, speaking with, and listening to students. But at the end of the day (and at the end of the semester) you can look yourself in the eye (okay, this will require a mirror) and say "I did something." And that is really all that any of us can do.
bequi 5:18 AM

Tuesday, December 03, 2002

 
Failure? I dont know about that. Its okay to be harsh on yourself but to call yourself a failure is a little extreme. Hey atleast you'll have good ol' me in your class. If you want, I will teach the class. However, I will expect a paycheck. Remember it is english 102. It is for the idiots who didn't know how to place commas on the ACT. Stupid people are just what they are...stupid. Your getting worked up about stupid people. Don't be intimidated by them...us.
Dan 11:43 PM

 
This is depressing. I just bought "chicken soup for the teacher's soul" because i feel like a complete failure. the good news is, though, my "existential crisis" has come to an end... myabe... and i now know more than ever what i want from life and who i am. dammit, it took me a while! this whole mess has been a great learning experience, though, and i'm glad that i thought about all these things... and i'm also glad i didn't end up deciding to turn my life upside down. thank you, my friends who have helped me and who have continued talking to me even when i said that i was going to smoke pot. don't ask me if i did though... this is a secret i'll take to the grave.
so why do i feel like a complete failure? i don't think i've given the adequate help to my students. i've just not yet learned exactly how to distinguish who needs help and what kind of help he/she/they need. i talked with my students yesterday and some said some really nice things but others didn't seem that convinced... because i was not able to assess exactly and individually what was needed. i taught to the crowd. i occasionally helped but not the right way... or not enough. i guess i am learning... as the saying goes, failure is just a learning experience, right? failure is one step closer to success... and if i hadn't tried, maybe i'd feel even worse now. i'm just afraid that i couldn't handle well 26 students and i'll have more than 50 next semester! 50 different people with 50 different individualities, problems, needs, desires, abilities, opinions, motivations... i should have taken more psychology classes! and i'm going to enroll in the purdue choir, that's what i'm going to do!
i've been in this library for 7 hours today... with a small break to visit the new Border's and spend $50... being depressed is making me a public danger to my bank account! i'm going home to listen to some Bach music and read the chicken soup thing... hopefully it'll help! oh, by the way, you should go to visit my english 102 site one day, i'm pretty proud of it... and still working on it a lot, so it changes every day and it's not always THAT nice... be patient... and admire!
Lucie Moussu 8:02 PM

Sunday, December 01, 2002

 
People your age? Argh. Well, you're not old till you catch up to me! I don't know if there is such a thing as a normal PhD student. Just a bunch of people trying to survive classes like syntax (remind me again why I want to get a phD?!) Why am I up at 2am writing to you? Well, um, because it would be rude for me to call at this hour, of course!
bequi 4:24 AM

 
Okay, I am exaggerating somewhat on both things, but anyway. I wouldn't care about their opinion if a certain person were acting like, well, like a Latino at this point, but that is not the case so I do wonder if it is worth it at all or if I should be buscando otro. Quizás este hombre solo quiere a las mujeres de su país, pero parece que no pero no lo sé porque cuando alguien es muy educado y no le gusta decir nada negativo, no se sabe lo que esté sintiendo. Tengo que hablar con él, como me dijiste, pero está infermo. No sé qué decir tampoco. Y me tesis . . . I have like 69% reliability argh!!!
bequi 4:14 AM

 
What's this about you going to a hospital? Are you okay? And (The big question) . . . what color is your hair? Everyone in the office is thinking of doing something different. Well, Jen got a really curly perm (by mistake, from the hair academy place), Jenn wants to dye her hair blonde and Brooke wants to dye her hair black (She's blonde). I haven't heard from you for a while. I didn't realize this is now my only communication link with you! Well, now my relatives from one part of Colorado are gone and my mom is here. My family hates my hair and they tell me I'm dumb if I date someone from another country. Argh!
bequi 4:12 AM

Friday, November 29, 2002

 
Well, I got in. Now I just have to decide what to write. At 0200 in the morning this can be a challange! Did I tell you that I sold one of my puppies? $500! Not bad but I hope I can sell the other two soon as I'm tired of doing the pooper scooper thing. They eat 4 times a day and poop 4 times a day. Times three of them-that's a lot of poop! Do you know what you had when you went to the hospital? Was it the Norway Virus. I hear that's what's causing the illnesses on the cruise ships and that it's pretty virulent. Chuck-a-rama in Salt Lake had an outbreak of something and had to be closed down twice. I don't know if it's open now or not.

Judith 4:16 AM

Thursday, November 21, 2002

 
My syntax teacher says that my outline is fine, that I just have to read three more books and write 10 more pages... and she says it like she's doing me a favor, like I should be grateful or something... I’ve talked to another one of my teachers today, who might be the only reason why I would stay in this program because she's just so amazing, she seems to understand what I’m going through and to understand that I need to go my own way, to do my own thing, because I’m afraid of what a "normal" Ph.D. student has to do... not that anyone doing a Ph.D. can be normal... During Thanksgiving break, I have to: write a syntax paper, write a report about my teaching ESL at West Lafayette high school, finish my ESL paper, pay my bills, write a "teaching philosophy" thingy and complete my portfolio for 505, finish my web site, write the syllabus, and learn about the textbooks for my 102 classes, grade all the paper revisions and extra credit reports from my 101 students... and I’m sure I'm forgetting something! Happy Thanksgiving to all!
Lucie Moussu 9:12 PM

Wednesday, November 20, 2002

 
What's the best: to smoke pot or to die my hair blond? Please someone tell me! Maybe I'll just shave my hair, move to Australia, and become a kick-boxing champion! Anyway, I'm sick of my life, I'm sick of what I think and who I have become, I'm not depressed, I AM ANGRY! I see that my life is exactly the same now as it was 10 years ago, and this is PATHETIC! I am the same person as I always was, I have not changed, grown, learned, NADA! Maybe it's the fact that my b-day is right around the corner and it's not just ANY b-day (and yes, I do accept checks)... People my age have families, jobs, lives... what do I have? I hate to think that I'm doing what I'm going just because I don't know what else to do! Anyway... I'm going back to my syntax paper (unaccusative verbs in French)... wish me luck! AND WRITE!!!!!
Lucie Moussu 11:53 PM

Sunday, November 17, 2002

 
Salut lulu in cornland
Bon, j'ai essaye d'acceder a ce site par ta page, ou ca dit "WRITE HERE", et ca marche pas. Bouhou. Mais bon, c'est la vie. Est ce que tu viens pour thanksgiving? On a commande une dinde de beaucoup de kilos, donc tu as interret a venir. Je klji rddsr (oups, petit mot de Yili qui ne peut pas s'empecher... quel tare mental, ce chat. Enfin. c'est pour ca qu'on l'aime, non?) Bon, maintenant je ne me souviens pas de ce que j'allais dire... Tant pis. Have a good end of week end. Call me sometime. And see you for Thanksgiving.

anais 11:17 AM

Friday, November 15, 2002

 
I'm thinking of having my listening/speaking 3 class make commercials and present them to the class. Maybe I can videotape them. I spent all evening watching TV--flipping channels and trying to record commercials. I didn't come up with anything really good, though. I might have them watch commercials for homework this week too. (I'm starting to get creative --now that the semester is almost over!)
bequi 2:43 AM

 
Como no hablo francés, tengo que escribir en castellano. :-)
I hope you have come up with a topic for your paper! As for me, I'm going to start working on my thesis again. Really. I mean it. Hey! What are you snickering about? And then I'll be too busy, so, for now, I think I won't enroll in any difficult classes or do anything exotic. . . unless I have a good reason to do so. We'll see what sorts of conversation topics come up . . .
bequi 2:39 AM

Thursday, November 14, 2002

 
C'est pas encore le Perou par ici! So my friends, where are you??? I want to hear from you, I want to know how life is going for you! Things are going well here, I have a major paper to write for next Wendesday (it's already Thursday night...) and I haven't even chosen my topic! Then I have a presentation on the day before Thanksgiving break, and I'm not too happy about that one either... and then another paper, but that one is almost done already! My teachers make me suffer, and I make my students suffer... and I suffer because I make them suffer (both my students and my teachers) but I really don't have a choice... it's a vicious circle! I still have a hard time reconciling my two identities--teacher and student at the same time... it wasn't that hard at BYU, what's going here??? Ok then, time to go clean the house before the cleaning lady comes tomorrow... thanks Martin, Jardimer, and Dan... at least I have three friends!
Lucie Moussu 6:34 PM

Wednesday, November 13, 2002

 
hi
Dan 9:54 PM

 
Hi Lucie!

Oh! you revealed a secret. I was wonderin how you learned and made your web page so fast because it was not long ago when you made your first web page.
Now I see....you had HELP!!! ;)
I know, I know....you always learn fast new things.
well...that´s all folks! At least for now :)
jadimer 2:18 PM

 
Hi again !!
Just giving this thing a try...
Sounds interesting. I will wait to see what other persons write, Ji ji ji...
Martin El Mexa...........
Martin 1:01 PM

Tuesday, November 12, 2002

 
salut les enfants. this is like a guestbook but better. it lets you write as much as you want and it goes directly to my page (when it works!). Don't worry if you don't see your postings on the page right away--i'm still learning and fighting with technology and basically everything that's web-related... good thing i have some help (thanks Dan!). Of course, c'est possible d'ecrire en francais, en allemand, en espagnol, et tout ce que vous voulez... And if you write, i'll respond sometime soon... then you can write again... and so on.
Lucie Moussu 7:11 PM