moussu.net Blog

Congrats on the TESOL presentation! Also, I’m excited for you–teaching English 106 to international students. You’re the pro!

From CNN.com, in an article about the meteor that exploded over the midwest:
« For me, it’s a dream come true, » [Paul Sipiera, a professor of geology and
astronomy at Harper College in Palatine, Illinois] said. « I always tell my
wife that when I die, I hope I get hit in the head by a meteorite flying
through the roof and it came pretty close, » he said.

(Hey, everybody’s gotta have a dream…)

Whoever said i should become a teacher made a big mistake! I can’t take it anymore, too many problems, too much grading, too much stress, too many unhappy students!!! Someone please tell me why I keep torturing myself like that!!

Tomorrow, Baltimore… dear friends, write me while i’m gone and away from my computer!!!
Can’t write much anymore thanks to carpal tunnel syndrome… can’t feel my fingers anymore, and my hands/arms hurt bad… so now it’s YOUR turn to write!!!

Good news!!! I’m going to teach Engl. 106I in the fall!!! Yeah, that means only 15 students!!!!!!!!!
Another good news: the summer class I’ll take, in administration, is only during the month of june!!! now i need to figure out what else to do during the rest of the summer.
Another good news: i’m going to michigan tomorrow for a few days. need a break… but it’s only friday night and i’m already bored, so i need to do something with myself! i hope the weather’s nice up there!
Other good news: the weather was absolutely delightful today, i was able to spend a nice hour out with dan… VERY nice!!
Other news: the new antibiotics seem to be working! I can move my leg without wanting to scream constantly now!!
All is good in cornland!!

antibiotics not working… i’m getting resistant to this stuff way too fast! so now i go around with my little pillow to sit on… and i’m sure i don’t look like an idiot… Had my students read a pretty discusting story just because it’s fun to know about discusting things too, not just the happy, funny, or cute things of life. so… does anyone have something interesting to tell me? what’s up people?

so this is my current perspective on life: i love the weather! my left hip hurts a lot, almost as much as after the surgery… my right leg is going bad again, so i’m taking antibiotics like a mad man and praying that last december little drama doesn’t repeat itself… all this must be because i don’t eat much. but hey, now i fit in my pants, which is nice, and i don’t feel pregnant all the time. talking about that, i had the weirdest dream 2 nights ago: i was at a picnic with my family and Christian, that kid i was in love with when I was in high school… he’s a surgeon now, in switzerland… so in my dream my mom was trying to set me up with him and we were having this picnic together… and i was looking at the guy, and he was soooo good looking, and successful and all… i kept thinking that he’d never think i’d be good enough for him! i felt so… inadequate… Around us there were a lot of other people, it was kind of a park or something, and the weather was beautiful… suddenly we saw this little girl who was crying… and asked her what was going on and she said she had been abandonned by her grandpa and her family who didn’t want her anymore. i thought « great, i’ve never wanted my own kids but i’d love to adopt this little girl, that’ll be perfect! » but my mom got angry at the girl’s family and ran around the park until the found the grandpa leaving in his car, and she gave him back the little girl… and i was so sad! yeah yeah, i know i’m weird.

other news: i’m writing a 10 page paper for curriculum design and it’s no fun, i already wrote 6 pages today… will finish tomorrow hopefully. my students seem happy… well… not too unhappy at least, which is good… except for one person who, on the evaluation, under the question « what has been the most useful to you in this class? » wrote « nothing » and then under the question « what has been the least useful? » wrote « N/A. » … mmm… good thing i’m not taking ANYTHING personally anymore We haven’t received our student evaluations from last semester still, and it’s midterm now… so oh well… i don’t care much, i’ll keep doing what i’m doing, except for the blog entries, which seem to be a main concern… we’ll see… i guess i’m not really good at encouraging people to be creative and free and to enjoy writing on this thing like other people, and it’s been kind of a flop, but hey, you’ve got to try things sometimes! so this will change. the rest, « too much homework, » will definitely not change, sorry

Nils passed his exam almost brilliantly, Anais had a good time in the Virgin Islands (who wouldn’t?), Jeanne has her man back from Arizona, the weather is less cold, spring break is in one week, i worry less about my problem students, i’m flying to Baltimore in 2 weeks, i have transfered my $3.000 loan from a 15% interest account to a 4% interest account, i ordered new checks, white russians are delicious, i finally sent her Christmas present to Judy, i’m registering for administration classes for summer and fall, i might have found a place to stay for free in Baltimore for TESOL (thanks Mireille:), and i’ve found someone to help me clean my house every week… things are good! life is good.

so this is my current theory on forgiving: if i forgive the people who have hurt me, i might set myself up for more deceptions and hurt. but i might not. there’s a chance, either way. yes, the people i forgive might hurt me again, but really, they might see that they’ve hurt me and never want to do it again, learn from it, realize the importance of our friendship… something like that. if i don’t forgive them, i’ve lost friends for sure. no going back. i’ve lost the possibility that we could become friends again and NEVER hurt each other like that again. i’ve lost the chance of spending a few more good moments with good people… i’ve lost the power to build something new and something better. and i’ve lost the chance that i may become a better person, not just because i’ve forgiven, but because there’s always something we can learn from others when we allow them to teach us. maybe we’ll be friends again for only a short time… but friendship is gold, it is a big or small union of the hearts, but still a union of the hearts of people who want to share, give, help, care, love, cry, learn, suffer, live, and laugh together.

so i’ll always forgive– and i’ve always forgiven. it might take a while, but i’ll always forgive. i love my friends too much, i can’t stay mad at anyone for a long time. i love to love people.

According to a November 2002 news article in the Indiana Star, « Indiana may be the next battleground for English-only in schools. » Well, it was just a comment from someone in Indiana, not a particular expert. However, battling English-only is what I do!! (Except at the ELC where I go around saying « English only! »)

Hey! So, do you have a plan for your dissertation proposal? You, of course, need to give TESOL the chance to pay you thousands of dollars to do your research! « March comes in like a lion and goes out like a lamb. » So, theoretically, allthough it is still March and still snowing, the weather should mellow out before the end of the month. Are you excited/annoyed/stressed/prepared for TESOL? I think a lot of BYU people are going. (I’ll be spending that week checking every comma, etc of my thesis).

(Actually, the D&C says that if you try to work things out with your enemies twice, the third time, go ahead and fight or whatever because the enemy is not going to change. It is sort of in a war/battle kind of sense, but still…)

One more point about forgiving. There is such a thing as a « toxic person. » This kind of person is not fixable, will never really be your friend, and will always aggravate you. You can forgive this kind of person (meaning stop being angry and don’t stew over it or wish ill will on the person) but it is useless to try to be/become/remain friends. No matter how kind and peaceful you are, there are certain individuals who will simply never be your true friend–because they have a problem. With this type of person, don’t let them affect you too much. Be businesslike and deal with them politely. Don’t expect them to ever change. It’s not you (you have many friends!) it’s that person who has the problem.

What is a friend? You! A friend is someone who you care about who cares about you. A friend is someone who will sometimes do things they don’t want to do, because they know it means a lot to you. A friend feels sad when you are sad and happy when you are happy. A friend wants to see you succeed in everything. A friend is considerate, helpful and encouraging. A friend is someone you enjoy spending time with. (Do I sound like an ESL teacher or what with my short simple sentences).

I’m curious as to what prompted your questions about forgiving and anger. If you are ever angry at me, I hope you’ll tell me!

As for how to say something without being mean or rude or hurting the person, that is not always possible. My philosophy is to be direct, if that is what the situation requires (although note: this may be a big reason why I didn’t get the ELC job and have enemies). In the long run, I think people like to be around people who are honest about things instead of people who pretend they are okay with a situation when they are not (well « grownups » do, at least).

About anger: Okay, I am probably not the best person to comment on this one. If something bothers me a little bit, then I try to ignore it. If it bothers me a lot but I think it will go away by itself, I try to ignore it. However, if it bothers me a lot and doesn’t go away, I am very direct. The best way is to explain how you feel and why. And if the person can’t handle and respect that, the person is a dork anyway. The longer you wait, sometimes the harder it is to say something , actually. You also have to balance whether or not you think saying something will do any good.

« I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive. But of you it is required to forgive all men » (or something like that. I’m quoting it off the top of my head). You have to forgive everyone, but that’s not the right question, in my opinion. When you forgive someone, it changes you, NOT the person. That person may still be evil, dangerous, rude, violent etc. Forgiving and forgetting means you don’t stew over it and you don’t keep yourself angry at all times. HOWEVER, imho, only a fool literally « forgets and forgives » to the extent that he or she places himself or herself in a bad situation repeatedly. If someone steals your car, you can forgive but by all means, don’t go giving that person your car keys again! Some people or situations should simply be avoided–because you have learned from past experiences.

well it IS march and it is SNOWING!!!
i have questions for the general public (please take the time to answer, your answers are valuable to me plus it shows that someone’s actually reading this thing and i’m not just writing my life away in an empty and meaningless web space!): how many times can you forgive someone until you decide NOT to forgive anymore? and if you forgive, do you forget? also, when something angers you, how long do you wait until you say something? and how do you say something without being mean or rude or without hurting the person? and finally my last and most important question: what is a friend?

Hey! It’s almost March, which means it’s almost spring which means that the snow will end!